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Alton Brown Doesn't Want You Burning Down Your House This Thanksgiving
Monday, November 20, 2006 | posted by Mike

When you fry your turkey, will you be using a derrick? Do you even know what a derrick is?

No, and stop calling me Derrick. (Why are those kind of lines so much funnier when Leslie Nielsen says them?)

It’s Thanksgiving, which means that the two warnings you will be hearing from every cooking show, magazine and news program are:
  1. Don’t stuff you turkey and
  2. Don’t burn your house down while frying your turkey
Apparently, the whole turkey-frying thing has really taken off during the past few years, and experts say that nearly 75% of those who try to fry their turkey at home will accidentally burn down the house. Or something like that.

Alton Brown has come up with a dummy-proof way of frying your turkey and he’s more than willing to share the plans with you. A new entry under “Knowledge” on his website includes instructions and plans for a “turkey derrick,” which will allow you to lower the bird into the scalding hot oil with a minimum of potential for disaster.

Quite a bit of time and planning has obviously gone into the derrick, and the accompanying PDF has a blueprint-style drawing to accompany the hardware list and cooking instructions. Some of the hardware (carabiner, pulleys) isn’t going to be found in your typically suburban garage, but I’m guessing that if you are motivated enough to buy a turkey fryer, you’ll run down to the Home Depot and pick up the additional parts.

Of course, chances are you’ll be drunk when you try to fry your turkey and you'll end up kicking over the oil and setting your lawn on fire, so at least the derrick’s fiberglass ladder will give you a way to avoid flames until the fire engine arrives.

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